Written by Brett Bengel

Even though parents and teachers both want what’s best for children, they often find themselves at odds with each other. Educators receive emails, phone calls, and after-school visits from parents who are frustrated with out-of-touch, disconnected, and unsympathetic teachers. Teachers are frustrated with clueless, distracted, and overbearing parents. Who is correct?

Well, Lutheran schools today can only control what is inside their four walls. Ministry leaders, principals, and teachers should not get caught up in this debate. Our focus should be on building up relationships with families and making necessary and appropriate changes to give ourselves the best opportunity to teach God’s Word and educate children.  Below, I will share four steps to consider as we face relationship issues with school families. Maybe one of these changes is needed in your ministry setting.

Be Willing to Listen and Adjust
Some Lutheran schools are struggling to retain students. Schools need to be willing to identify what is causing these retention issues. The teachers, principal, and leaders should build up relationships with their students and give parents regular opportunities to give honest feedback. The staff should discuss any concerns parents may have about teachers and the school environment.

This can be difficult and emotional, but changes may be necessary. The parents may be overreacting, or they may be onto something.

Many Lutheran schools have decided to offer open enrollment to the community. This also means the school and the classroom environment may need to adjust. Blaming the next generation of parenting is not going to resolve the challenge. Gathering information, creating a plan, and making appropriate yet measurable adjustments will help overcome the challenges.

Balance High Expectations and Compassion
Lutheran schools should strive to use law and gospel appropriately. We should continue to speak the truth in love to all students and families who come in contact with our school.

Part of the adjustment to dealing with parents today comes in the balancing of high standards and Christian love. All schools need rules, high academic standards, and good order. Students also need the gospel and a feeling of security. Only having high standards with consequences will lead to stressful and frustrated students. Eliminating high standards and expectations and inserting only love is not beneficial either.

Frustrated students lead to unhappy parents. Find the appropriate balance of high standards and love for your students, and educate parents on your school’s expectations.

Focus on Classroom Culture
Adjustments to the classroom environment may also be necessary. Parents may express concerns about teachers’ inability to connect with students or their use of out-of-date practices. The parents may unknowingly reference the difference between teacher-centered and student-centered approaches.

“Providing a classroom environment in which active engagement is stimulated by the teacher helps students become academically successful. Student-centeredness enhances cooperative learning, develops problem-solving and decision-making skills, and stimulates reflective and critical thinking skills; however, the role of the teacher is not eliminated in the classroom” (Serin, 2018, p. 166-167).

Parents and students alike are looking for a supportive, democratic, and encouraging environment. Students experiencing this support and encouragement have greater satisfaction in school and improve academic attainment (Soheili et al, 2015). Faculties could use collaborative professional development and personal growth time to research and discuss the transition to student-centered approaches.

Create an Ownership Mentality
Lutheran schools that open their doors to the community become another product on the list of consumer-minded parents. A plan needs to be in place to change the parents’ mindset from consumer-minded to ownership-minded.

How can your school help the families take ownership in the school and its ministry? Principals, leaders, and teachers need to build relationships up as quickly as possible. Schools need to present meaningful opportunities for parents to be involved (Wahlstrom, Louis, Liethwood, & Anderson, 2010). Classroom volunteers, parent groups used as sounding boards for change, and school outreach ambassadors are a few ideas.

Many parents feel they want to be heard and have an influence on their child(ren)’s education. A balance needs to be established between the leadership structure of the church and school and parental influence on the ministry.

Conclusion
As long as sin is in this world, there will be relationship struggles, including teachers and parents. Open discussion among leaders, principals, teachers, and parents will determine if a change is needed. We want to keep building up those relationships while asking ourselves what else can “we” do?  Schools need to continue making adjustments to give themselves every opportunity to reach families with the gospel.

Brett Bengel (MLC ’07) is currently serving at St Mark-Citrus Heights CA. Brett is a member of the 2017 21st-Century Lutheran Principal Cohort and has just completed his training, which includes the MS Educational Administration degree.

References
Serin, H. (2018). A comparison of teacher-centered and student-centered approaches in educational settings. International Journal of Social Sciences and Educational Studies, 5, 164-167.

Soheili, F., Alizadeh, H., Murphy, J.M., Bajestani, H.S., & Ferguson, E. D. (2015). Teachers as leaders: The impact of Adler-Dreikurs classroom management techniques on students’ perceptions of the classroom environment and on academic achievement. The Journal of Individual Psychology, 71, 440-461.

Walstrom, K.L., Louis, K.S., Leithwood, K., & Anderson, S.E. (2010). Investigating the links to improved student learning Executive Summary]. The Wallace Foundation: New York, NY.