Written by Dr. Phil Huebner

What’s going on with teens today? It doesn’t take much effort to see that hiding behind all the photo-shopped pics and forced smiles in the hallway are teens who are suffering immensely. So what’s the tea on teens? (Tea is teen speak for info, gossip, or the lowdown.)

As the campus pastor at a Lutheran high school, this is something I think about and get asked about often. There are certainly many pressing issues today. The breakdown of the family, the absence of fathers, social media influence, the non-stop onslaught of temptation and easy access to evil, the overwhelming schedules, the pressure to perform in classes and tests in order to build the perfect college resume—all these things and more are major teen problems today.

But I will suggest to you that these present realities contribute to one greater, fundamental problem for teens today. Teens are suffering from an identity crisis. More specifically, Christian teens today are losing focus on who they are in Jesus.

The Danger of Feelings
God made humans to be incredible creatures with the profound ability to think and reason, to have feelings and emotions. However, in a sinful world our human emotions often cloud the facts of God and his grace. Examples abound in teen life:

Lydia soaks her pillow with tears each night because her parents are on the verge of divorce, no one ever likes her Instagram pics, and her best friend just shared her breakup story all over Snap Chat. Lydia can’t stop thinking, “I feel so unloved.”

Ty stares blankly at his phone screen wondering how he got to this point. It started with an accidental search result on Google but quickly morphed into explicit addiction. Then he started acting on his desires with his girlfriends. Between the substances he put in his body and what he did with his body, Ty was nearly overwhelmed thinking, “I feel so worthless and guilty.”

Mya seemed like the perfect student to just about everybody. She was in the academic top ten. She was the captain of three sports. She was on student council. She did just about everything and was great at it all. What most people didn’t know though was that Mya was about to crack and crumble under the pressure. In the silence of her room she wanted to scream, “I feel so alone and so weak!”

Here’s the problem then: The more teens obsess about their feelings, the more they identify with their feelings. In other words, teen feelings of “I feel unloved . . . guilty . . . worthless . . . alone . . . weak” soon become teen identities of “I am unloved. I am worthless. I am alone.” And when Satan traps teens in the lies of their feelings, then identity in Christ starts to disappear.

Facts of Faith
So how do we fight the feelings that assault and assail us? How do we help teens drowning in a sea of worldly feelings and thought? With the facts!

As we establish for teens the fact that they are broken sinners living in a broken and sinful world (the law), we will also encourage them with who they are in Jesus (the gospel). Because of Christ and his life, death, and resurrection for us, our heavenly Father looks at us as he looks at his own Son. Look at just a few of the Christ-identity passages in Scripture:

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Colossians 3:3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

There are many more, but the point is that since I have Christ for me and in me and with me, I have by faith a new identity in Christ. Just as it is a fact that Christ has died and risen, so it is a fact that I am now God’s dearly loved child through him.

Overcoming Feelings with Facts
Our joy in ministry then is to point teens away from their feelings and to the facts of who they are in Jesus time and time again. Examples can illustrate:

Sofia aches with the burden of her sexual sins. But though she feels so guilty and worthless, the fact is that she has been declared innocent through Christ, her sin is drowned in baptism, and she is washed completely clean.

Tyler hurts from his father who abandoned the family and his longtime girlfriend who just dumped him. But though he feels so unloved and alone, the fact is that he is a dearly loved child of God through Jesus. Though others may have left, the fact is that God will never leave or forsake him.

Gabriela feels so afraid of what the future may bring after high school, but the fact is that she has peace with God through Jesus Christ and she can simply “be still” in the comfort of his grace and mercy.

As you work with and serve suffering teens today, listen to their feelings. Listen with care, compassion, and understanding. But then listen with the intent to reassure and comfort them with the facts of who they are in Jesus.

If we can help teens to focus on the facts of Christ for us, Christ in us, and Christ with us, soon godly feelings of joy, happiness, and contentment will follow.

Dr. Phil Huebner has served as the campus pastor at Wisconsin Lutheran High School for five years. This article is a brief summary of a book he recently wrote to and for teens called Who Am I? Understanding Your Identity in Christ Through Facts Not Feelings.

The book is available in multiple locations, including directly from the publisher here: https://www.lulu.com/en/us/shop/phil-huebner-and-carolyn-sachs-and-amy-goede/who-am-i/paperback/product-2enkgg.html?page=1&pageSize=4

Discounts are available for bulk orders.

Information is also available from Dr. Huebner on how to use the book with congregations, teen groups, schools, or in teen counseling.