Written By Dan Nommensen, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH, CEAP
Christian Family Solutions
This is the second of two blog posts written by Dan Nommensen. The first blog post reminds us that we are all fragile jars of clay and that we need to focus on what is inside the jars.
Support for Your Fragile Jar
A few years ago, after Christmas was over, I was packing away the decorations, and I broke one of our favorite glass stars. It slipped right out of my hand and onto the hard floor and it shattered into many pieces. It was one of a set of six stars that stood on the fireplace mantel. My wife was able to find all the pieces and through a long process of restoration and a bottle of glue, she was able to get it back together—but it is extremely fragile. Now, when we set it out on the mantel, we carefully prop it up alongside the other stars to give it some extra strength.
It reminded me that in our fragileness, God places us together with other jars.
Isn’t it common to withdraw from others during times of challenge? Withdrawal is actually one of the most common signs of depression. Maybe we try really hard to give the appearance that our jar is as solid as others, or maybe we struggle with perfection and endlessly try to hide the cracks in our jar. Whatever the reason for that effort to hide our fragile condition, sometimes we just need that extra support from friends, family, coworkers, other called workers, or Christian counselors. If we all had impenetrable steel jars, I have a feeling we would all be quite lonely. We not only have the knowledge of salvation . . . we have others alongside us who are willing and able to be a support when those cracks feel deep.
As public ministers who face the reality of sin in these times, we see an opportunity to view challenges in ministry using this “jars of clay” analogy shared by the apostle Paul. God knows what we need. He is telling us it is better in the long run to be “only clay” than “lonely steel.”
Stay Standing in His Strength
Our counselors at Christian Family Solutions have the privilege of serving called workers and their family members. We meet with those who display an array of symptoms of distress. Two areas are very common:
First, we often see loss of freedom that comes as a result of a weakened desire for the Word. Ministry becomes a “have-to” when a law-way of thinking creeps in and the gospel is not present. Inevitably, conflict appears internally and with others. Knowing the treasure we have in our hearts—the Good News that we are forgiven—allows that freedom to return! We are reminded of our freedom to serve, to love, and to reflect that love in all we do.
The second symptom of distress that we often see is a sense of isolation and withdrawal from others. Just as the fragile star on the mantel needed the other stars to give it strength, we all need extra support. Trusted friends, family, and co-workers are sources of strength. Christian Family Solutions counselors are another source of support as needed. Our counselors are uniquely formed, in their own type of fragile jar, to help called workers see the benefit of being supported. What a blessing that the Lord has preserved CFS to serve our church body with professional counselors who are faithful to the Word of God. The Lord provides all these sources of support as an extension of his grace and love for us.
Our pastors, teachers, and staff ministers are most certainly, like all Christians, fragile jars of clay holding and sharing this great treasure. When the challenges arrive—and they will!—let’s focus less on our fragileness and cracks and instead on the treasure inside that has been nurtured through Word and Sacrament. His strength is our strength. We stand on the support he provides in us and around us. The challenges won’t disappear, but together we can remind each other where the real treasure is and how that treasure gives us the strength and motivation to serve.
Dan Nommensen is director of Community and Congregational Services for Christian Family Solutions, a counseling and mental health services agency specializing in distinctly Christian care. CFS is a WELS parasynodical organization.