All of the Lights (In Here Baby)
Happy Christmas! Or if you are reading this in America, Merry Christmas! Without the Thanksgiving buffer, I’ve been hearing Mariah Carey echoing through pedicabs across London since the minute Halloween was over. They do have Black Friday here, though. How could you turn down a marketing opportunity like that? Still, the minute those first Christmas lights turn on overhead the streets of central London on November 2nd, Christmas season is officially a go, and there is no longer a place for Ebenezers to hide. I had the privilege of experiencing both Thanksgiving and Christmas in one weekend. Last Saturday, I spent Thanksgiving with the families of Ben and Abby Hillmer. There was a welcome mix of British and American folk, which led to my second take after hearing “what kind of pie is this?” being uttered about pumpkin pie. Regardless, the pumpkin pie received raving reviews from the first-timers, such as, “it’s like baby food, but good baby food.” I honestly couldn’t describe pumpkin pie better myself.
The next day, Abby, Ben, and I hit the streets of central London on a mission to conquer as many Christmas markets as humanly possible. To distill this trip into a digestible format, I have ranked these markets from least great to most great (this will come in handy to anyone visiting The Big Smoke this holiday season).
6. Southbank- Despite being the nearest market to Big Ben and the London Eye, this is pretty standard market fare. However, here you will find the best ever spot for a Christmas picture in all of London, according to my extensive research. Abby and Ben pictured above make a wonderful example of this.
5. Jubilee (Best Art and Prints)- Don’t stand around waiting for the street performers to do something cool after they talk about doing something cool for 20 minutes straight. Do stand around wondering if you should give into your bizarre urge to buy that David Bowie collage made of comic book scraps.
4. Trafalgar Square- When we passed the stand of “chocolate kisses,” we all mentally agreed that we had to explore these intriguing balls of chocolate. What could be inside? These bad boys put Hershey’s to shame with a face-full of marshmallow fluff stuffed inside their hard chocolate shell. Depending who you are, these will be either the least or most appealing things ever.
3. Covent Garden (Best Decorations, Most Crowded)- Look at those bells! So big! Look at those ornaments! Also big! Weigh out the risk of snapping some pics of those massive ceiling decorations (pictured), if it means stopping the entire flow of foot traffic behind you. Get that Instagram content fast or face the mob!
2. Christmas By the River (Best Food)- The fact that this market is almost entirely food is both a blessing and a curse. From rainbow-colored burgers to fried bananas, the amount of options can be a bit overwhelming. My advice is to divide and conquer. Everybody gets something different, everybody shares (the caveat: this does not work with greedy people).
1. Leicester Square (Coziest, Most Christmas-y, Most German)- If Leicester Square’s dubious West End ticket resale stands or probably-a-money-laundering-scheme American candy shops didn’t tickle your fancy, Leicester’s Christmas market is sure to! Whether you are craving an authentic German bratwurst or just a whiff of that impossible-to-describe, but universally known “Christmas smell,” this gated-in market is the place for you!
I wish you all blessings this Advent season!
Cheers, Joe