Finding Luther
The first time I visited central London was just days after I arrived. It was that day that I experienced a very strange phenomenon. I was standing right in the middle of Parliament Square, towered over on all sides by attractions of mass interest– Big Ben, the London Eye, the statue of Churchill, double-decker buses galore. I felt an overwhelming sense of awe and appreciation for the mass doses of culture I was taking in all at once. And yet, something crept in from the back of my head. A twinge of uneasiness. It was odd. I couldn’t understand what my own body was feeling. I am exactly where I want to be, so why should I feel any bit of unrest? Looking back on it later, I realized that what I was feeling was some brand of imposter syndrome. It stung to love a culture so much, but to feel I’d never truly be a part of it because of my heritage; like I would always just be an observer on the outside, a tourist in every sense of the word.
Three weeks later and I haven’t felt that feeling since. It’s come to the point where, at least when I’m on campus, I feel comfortably assimilated. I’ve made my one-person dorm room feel a bit more like home by fancying it up with posters and books and things of my interest. I’ve grown close enough to my flat mates that I (hardly) don’t even notice their British accents anymore. Though, they often remind me of my own background whenever I say phrases like “dude” and y’all.” I think their fascination towards American culture has actually fueled a pride for my country that I didn’t have before. I’ve walked around campus enough times to familiarize myself with its geography, which isn’t to say that I’m used to its beauty yet. Every time I walk to class, I get to take in all sorts of awesome sights. First, is the oldest artifact of campus: The Grove House (pictured left). It used to be a manor, but was repurposed as a classroom hall. Its Victorian-style pillars and statues make it stand apart from the rest of campus, and its centrality makes it a popular hang-out spot for students. Then, I pass from the manmade to the God-made through the lush green nature trail that wraps around a pond (pictured middle). This, on the other hand, is a popular hang-out spot for the local foxes and cranes of the campus.
Apart from campus (and Five Guys), I’ve found comfort in other places too. Namely, I got a taste of home when I visited Pastor Hartman’s mission church here. The congregation was so welcoming, which brought me hope for the future of the mission. It was also a very unique experience to sing “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God” in St. George’s (pictured right), the oldest German church in Britain. I honestly didn’t think I hear that song during my trip. It’s during experiences like that that I’ve come to terms with the fact: I can be at the same time proud of where I came from and proud to be where I am. Those things don’t have to be mutually exclusive.