It Is Indeed Green Here

/in

When it comes to living arrangements, I will begin by talking about the thing that first jumped out at me when I entered my current abode. The flooring. Now, when I imagined where I would stay while studying on a campus that is mere feet away from a legit castle, I pictured something quaint, even cozy. Stone covered in ivy, beautiful views, wooden features. An overall medieval feel. Instead, after having to use my cell phone to unlock three different doors, I was hit with what I can only describe as a grubby lime living its second life as a floor. Carpet and linoleum. I know this might sound like a wild description, but I will include photo evidence so you can see what I mean. Not only is it lime green, but it is also littered with mystery stains, which I can only speculate point to the original use for this building —a putt-putt course. Alas, the world may never know. 

The craziest thing is, there is quaint accommodation on campus, it’s just on the opposite side of campus, the pretty side. The side we live on is modern. Iron and glass everywhere. Abstract sculptures, geometric shapes, the whole bag. Then all you have to do is cross the road that splits the campus in half, and suddenly you are in picturesque Ireland – large, moss-covered stone buildings, a massive Gothic church, and a beautiful, green courtyard. Below is a picture of the casual beauty that I encounter when I cross the road on my afternoon runs. (Psst, there’s a picture of the church if you scroll down). A perfect example of a juxtaposition. Wow, 11th-grade honors English class is coming in clutch for the big words today.

ANYWHO, I’m getting carried away, per usual. I truly can’t complain about my apartment. It’s located on campus and only around a five-minute walk to any of my classes, a 10-minute walk to the shopping center, and 20-minute walk to the train station. It’s what real estate agents would call “prime property”. I like to think that its lack of character makes the bare minimum effort that my flatmates and I put into decorating it look amazing. We have already arrayed one wall with some beautiful self-portraits, and week-old flowers are currently living in an old pasta sauce jar on our kitchen table. Yeah, we’re classy around here. 

As for my own room, I will stick to minimal decoration as I do not want to have a lot of things to deal with at the end of the semester, as I’m trying to pack for my flight back. As compared to MLC, it is grand. I have my own FULL bathroom connected to my room. Gone are the days of scampering down the hallway in a towel on the way to the shower. Along with that, there is plenty of storage space, which is completely wasted on me currently, as I am living as a vagrant. Not sharing a room and sleeping under someone else has also been an amazing luxury. Not that I don’t enjoy having a roommate to keep me sane, shout out to Heather, but it is a breath of fresh air to feel a sense of independence after living in a dorm for so many years.

Unfortunately, with independence comes maintenance, namely cleaning, which my flatmates and I have found to be frustrating as hair seems to collect so quickly and the bread here seems to be so crumbly. Maybe the lime green just makes it more obvious, who knows? While we’re on the topic of first-world problems, making my own food sounds all fine and dandy until I actually have to go and buy groceries and walk them back home. For those wondering, a backpack is always the way to go. Independence also requires self-regulation and motivation, which is easy to slack on when you have the option of rotting in your room without anyone knowing or saying a word. Those are the times that I have to remind myself that I am in IRELAND and that I should make the most of the time that I’m here. Luckily for me, my flatmates think the same way. 

Ah! What a natural segue into talking about said flatmates. All four of them are from the US, but from different parts of the country. Michigan, New Jersey, California, and Kentucky. We are all very different, yet we somehow manage to get along very well. As I mentioned in my last blog, we have had to find familiarity with each other fairly quickly. We’ve all made the unspoken choice to stick together and are even getting to a point where we can actually be vulnerable with each other. I’ve had interesting conversations with each of them already, and I look forward to the adventures that we will go on together. A trip to London is currently in the works, which will definitely shake out to be the weekend of a lifetime. 

Well, now is the time in the show that I must bid adieu as I must run to class, but just know that I am very much enjoying my time abroad. I really don’t mind the crumbly bread. It’s actually much better than any bread that I’ve ever eaten in the caf. Yes, that was subtle shade. Oh, also, my apologies for all of the dramatics throughout this entry; it’s been a week. Ok, I actually have to go now. Classes here may start five minutes later than the appointed time, but I don’t want to be the person who makes people have to stand up, so I can get a middle seat in the lecture hall. Until next time!

Peace and Love,

Mathilde

First Impressions of the Land of 10,000 Sheep

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This week has put me through a whirlwind of emotions. If you are reading this blog for all sunshine and rainbows, I’m afraid you’re in the wrong place. Life is certainly not wonderful all the time, even when you’re jumping into a semester of your dreams. I’ll be completely honest. I’ve felt more uncomfortable this week than I can remember feeling in years. I know that I am doing this in order to push myself beyond my limits, but I would be lying if I told you that this week has not made me question how much I can take. Of course, I am getting ahead of myself. Let’s have a quick recap.

Firstly, the airport in general. I can be quoted as saying that I enjoy flying and airports are entertaining, but I fear I may go back on my word after my most recent adventures. From flying into one airport in New York City and having to find a way to get to the other and board my plane to getting the middle seat of the middle row on the sleepless flight to Dublin, I can confidently say that I no longer look forward to flights. Alas, I survived and even made it through the 30-plus-hour day that resulted. 

I think the hardest thing this week has been having nothing familiar to rely on for comfort. I’m forced to find familiarity with my flatmates and the places on campus that I’ve visited a handful of times. Besides that, everything that happens seems to add to my stress. Class schedule not working out, jumping through multiple hoops just for my emails to be left unanswered, my computer deciding to break the day before classes start, traveling to Dublin alone to buy a new computer, and feeling that I’m in the wrong place or that I should be participating in some activity. It’s been a struggle to find the joy in the stressful situations, but I’ve been pushing myself to focus on the future and keep my chin up through it all. I cannot truly control anything, so I have to remember that even in the loneliness and feelings of helplessness, I can always look to Jesus, the one who is always there for me and truly understands everything that I’m dealing with this week.

Anywho, on that note, I went to Catholic mass this week, which was very interesting. I went out of curiosity, hoping to find comfort from the word of God, but instead I found myself even more uncomfortable. The service was riddled with traditions and things that people do, but there aren’t explicit instructions on what to do. I struggled to find God’s love in the rigid structure and confusing liturgy. It felt like a scavenger hunt, but the instructions are in a whole different, unfamiliar language, and there is no one else there to show you where to start. As much as I find peace in the regularity and consistency of some traditions in church services, by attending this service, I gained the perspective of an outsider, and I can see how our services may seem daunting to those attending for the first time. I also realized how alone I am in my faith here. It will be difficult to keep myself accountable for staying in the word, but I find that it is the only thing that I can cling to for comfort.

I’m fully aware that this blog has been very negative so far, but I just needed to get those feelings on the table right away. Now that we’ve been through that turmoil, we can talk about the wonderful world of Ireland. Firstly, the people are so nice and willing to help with whatever you need. They are interested in getting to know you and are particularly interested in comparing the US with Ireland. I recently went on a walking tour of Dublin, and the guide was a perfect example of all of the people that I’ve met so far. The best way to describe her was cheery- full of laughs and a desire to show us her city. She put an emphasis on having human connections and going out of one’s way to talk to people in order to break away from a technologically advanced yet socially inept society. This week, I’ve been working on taking her advice by going out of my comfort zone and chatting with people that I run into, rather than just allowing silence to fill the air. My goal is to leave the interaction with a new friend rather than just a familiar face.

Along with the people, the weather is so beautiful- a mild range of 50-65 degrees with occasional sunshine, with scattered showers almost guaranteed every day. It’s in between the weather that you can never fully prepare yourself for, and I love it. It’s normal to carry around a tote bag here, so if I get uncomfortable with a jacket on, I can just take it off and put it in my bag. It’s truly a perfect system. It’s perfect fall weather minus the fact that the leaves are not crunchy due to the damp climate, a fact that I sadly found out after attempting a leaf stomp the other day. It was a heartbreaking realization made worse by the number of people who watched my failure… Oh well, we live and we learn. 

While I have felt fairly uncomfortable for the majority of this past week, my flatmates have been a light in the loneliness. Since we are all in the same boat of not knowing anyone and having to figure out living in Ireland on our own, we have quickly teamed up, and I can already feel our connection growing. While we are all very different and are from all across the US, they are becoming the people that I rely on for comfort and familiarity. I find myself spending more and more time in the common spaces where the number of awkward silences is swiftly being overtaken by the number of laughs. I have people to explore Maynooth with and even Dublin if we are feeling up for an adventure. 

Phew, I think that’s all I’ve got so far. For those of you who made it through the whole thing, I really appreciate you. It has already been a journey, and I’ve only been in Ireland for a week. As the whirlwind inevitably continues this semester, I look forward to getting more and more comfortable with my new environment and growing in my independence. Oh, I almost forgot, the picture for this month is of me next to the castle that is literally on my campus…?!?! Also, notice how green it is??? Europe is so cool. Ok, I promise, I’m actually done now. 

All the love!

Mathilde

Wait… This is Actually Happening?!?!

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These past few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about my study abroad journey up to this point. From seeing presentations about studying abroad, to deciding to work towards doing it, to planning the last-minute details. I know that it may sound corny, but I genuinely cannot believe that I will be flying out of the US in two days. On the one hand, I’m super excited. This is something that I’ve been dreaming of for years now. A solo adventure to a country I’ve never been to in order to push myself out of my comfort zone. On the other hand, I’m going on a SOLO adventure which is completely out of my comfort zone… More on that later.

Anywho, in preparation for this new adventure, I’ve been getting to know myself. Asking myself hard questions that challenge my preexisting beliefs and subconscious reactions to others. At first, the idea of getting to know myself better seemed strange, but it has made me more self-aware and has taught me empathy by allowing me to see the world through other people’s perspectives. I expect the program to help me become more open to interacting with people whom I don’t necessarily know or with whom I don’t have any obvious commonalities. It may be tough to conceptualize as I am writing this from the comfort of my bed in Iowa, but I am intrigued to discover what the next few months have in store for me.

Through this process, I’ve been able to narrow down some of the strengths and weaknesses in order to make some personal goals for this adventure. I expect to increase my personal discipline by relaxing and allowing myself to prioritize things that help my emotional and physical health, rather than always focusing on deadlines and things that cause me stress. While the beginning of this adventure may be causing me a lot of stress right now as I fret about how many pairs of socks to pack or whether or not to bring my pillow, I know that, overall, this experience will force me to become comfortable with unfamiliarity. I will have to learn to prioritize things that matter and spend less time on the things that are ultimately unimportant.

Along with developing proper priorities, I also hope to work on discipline and self-regulation. Over the years, I’ve been surrounded by a Christian community that cares about my faith life and has lived on a schedule that regularly includes time to be in the Word. Now that I will be around people whom I don’t know and in a new place, I will have to keep myself accountable in my personal devotional life and scheduling and prioritizing my connections with fellow believers. I will have to make a point of setting aside time to spend in the Bible and reaching out to others to find people who share the faith. This experience will test my faith and force me to put genuine effort into my personal faith. I hope to achieve a stronger faith in God through my intentional time spent in the Word and reliance on God to get me through new and often stressful situations abroad.

OK, finally coming back to the fact that I’m going on my first solo trip EVER to a whole new country. Of course, when I started planning this experience, the prospect of going alone sounded great. A complete reset. I love all my friends and family, and the Midwest will always be my home, but I need a little change of pace. I love travelling, and I know that every time I put myself into a situation that I’m new to or not completely comfortable in, I flourish. Not that I disagree with the reasoning of my past self, but now it’s getting to feel real. I know that it will all be ok and everything will work out, even if it doesn’t go just as I planned. I don’t know if the pre-departure nerves will ever lessen, but I am confident that this experience will help me achieve my goal of more self-confidence, especially when it comes to entering new situations and interacting with new people.

For all two of you who are wondering, I chose this picture because I feel like it encapsulates the feeling of excitement I have as I metaphorically run towards the future. Plus, I love my sisters and I will miss them desperately, even if they do frustrate me once in a while… That being said, I will spend the next 48 hours stressing as I finally start finish packing and hoping that I remember all of the important documents that I need. I digress. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you updated every step of the way : )

All the love,
Mathilde