The End of the Rainbow

/in

Oh boy, where to even start. As I sit here, munching on cold noodles and procrastinating on my finals, it’s strange to think that I’ve already been here for 11 weeks. Guys, I go home next week. I would say that the semester flew by, but it’s honestly been a real trek. Some parts speeding by in the left lane, yet others sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the freeway. Anywho, let’s get into it.

Firstly, I would say that I’m proud of myself. This semester has been hard in many ways, but honestly, so rewarding. I’ve learned so much about myself and what I am capable of doing if I put my mind to it. I started off the semester knowing no one and feeling completely overwhelmed, and now here I am taking random solo side quests into Dublin for fun. Side note, why are second-hand stores here basically all consignment stores? What does it take for a girl to find a good thrift store that isn’t curated and generally overpriced? Just something to add to the list of things that I miss about home, I guess… Anywho, I’m just generally so proud of how much my independence and confidence have grown over this semester. I have grown to enjoy commutes and reclaim my love of looking out the window and generally just observing the world around me. I’ve spent lovely hours walking around Maynooth and Dublin with no real goal in mind, changing direction when I fancy and popping into places that pique my interest. I’ve enjoyed the time spent with my own thoughts, especially as I have become more and more comfortable with public transport. When I first got here and started using buses and trains, I would worry from the time I planned out my trip to the time that I got back to my apartment that something would go wrong. Now I’m actually able to enjoy it without constantly fretting that I missed my stop or that I got on the wrong bus. (Please enjoy the festive lights of Stephen’s Green Shopping Center, the final destination of one of my solo adventures.)

 

That all being said, the semester hasn’t necessarily been what I expected it to be. Do I wish that I had pushed myself to use public transportation sooner? Or forced myself to use some of my time more wisely rather than wallowing in my room? Yes and yes, but I can’t go back and change the past. All I can do is be introspective and learn from those experiences by making different choices in the future. Of course, that is easier said than done, and I would be lying if I said that I haven’t already antagonized over certain things, but I have to look at it with a more positive attitude. Make small and purposeful changes, and the results will encourage me to continue the journey. As a small example, the other day, I had planned to stop in my professor’s office to discuss an exam, but I was really dreading it and was seriously considering just winging the exam . Once I actually got to the meeting, however, it turned into an hour-long conversation that simultaneously answered all my questions about the impending exam and was a genuinely great chat. Choosing things that are initially difficult or challenging is not one’s natural instinct, but they really are the most rewarding in the end. That is something that I will always remember, especially after this semester.

 

There are many things that I’ve learned over the past few months, and I hope to incorporate many of those things into my “normal life” back home. I’ve had such a great time starting new healthy habits- being intentional about being physically active every day, beyond my regular movement to and from class, listening to sermons while I’m on my walks, giving myself brain breaks by painting rather than scrolling, and generally making small but difficult steps in order to meet my goals. I’ve also enjoyed embracing my own style and artistic eye while I’ve been abroad, picking up art that intrigues me and experimenting with outfits that have been out of my comfort zone in the past. On top of that, catch me embracing scarves and tote bags. I’ve realized that I am my biggest critic and that I should make an effort to impress myself and quit worrying about what other people think of my outfits. Spoiler alert to all the self-conscious people out there, no one is looking at you; they’re just worrying about how they look. Kind of a vicious cycle, huh? (And boom, my artist rendition of a Dublin bus breaking into a splatter painting.)

 

I’ve been grateful for the opportunity to experience the world through a whole new lens. A foreigner with practically no connections, except for a shared language and roommates I’ve just met. That sounds drastic, but it was honestly quite scary at times, especially near the beginning, as I was learning to navigate this unfamiliar culture. I’ve found that my empathy for people, especially immigrants, has grown. It’s so easy to become frustrated with people who don’t already know how to do something that seems so simple to you, yet once one gets just a glimpse of what life is like in their shoes, the importance of patience and kindness becomes so clear. I’ve been blessed to have interacted with so many nice and patient people during my time here in Ireland. God has truly blessed me by giving me experiences that expand my limits, while still keeping me safe. This semester has taught me to take a breath and rely on him. Your computer just broke, and you got here last week… it’ll be alright. You’re feeling overwhelmed by your schedule planning…it’ll work out eventually. Oh no, the machine ate your £50 bill… it’s ok, you’ll get it back. You missed your train…there’ll be another. Problems feel less and less major when you look at the bigger picture. God has got this. It sounds cringey, but God is bigger than the world, and he has your best interests in mind, always. I know that I will always struggle with worrying, but God has refocused my life this semester. Don’t sweat it, it’ll all work out in the end. May as well just laugh it off and keep going.

 

If I were to give advice to those thinking about studying abroad, I would say to just try it. Push yourself to try new things even if they seem scary. Be the person to initiate interactions. Allow yourself to be “awkward” in order to create connections and forge friendships. I’m not saying to always say yes. In fact, if you ever feel at all uncomfortable about something, trust yourself. Say no, turn around, call a friend, whatever, don’t just go along with it because you think that you’re overthinking it. Chances are that your gut is right. Another thing I would say is to explore as much as you can. I understand that finances can be tight and one cannot afford to be travelling somewhere every weekend, but take any opportunity you have. Explore the city where you’re studying and the country. Look for the small details that people often miss. Let yourself relax. Find a hobby to explore. Don’t let the fomo- fear of missing out- both abroad and back home bring you down. Don’t feel like your experience is worthless because you aren’t constantly doing something “exciting”. Finally, give yourself grace. You’re in a whole other country, learning to live life while also doing school. Jesus loves you, and he gives you the strength to keep going even through the tough days. (A cozy scene that I snapped a picture of while on one of my walks. I love the stained glass!!!)

 

Whoa, this is a long one, I know, but it feels good to get all of that onto proverbial paper. I’ve experienced so much this semester, and grown in ways that I didn’t even know I was capable. I know that I will miss the environment I’ve grown accustomed to, but I look forward to sitting on my final flight back home after finishing my finals and reuniting with my family in person for Christmas. I just have a few finals, a couple papers, and a connecting flight in Amsterdam to get through before I can feel that peace. Wish me luck. ANYWHO, I gotta hit the hay and prepare for my American History exam. Who knew that American History class would be harder in Ireland??? Not to mention creating my very own *copy paper version* Irish manuscript… Yeah, your girl’s gonna be busy this week. Crossing my fingers that my bag isn’t overweight…

 

Peace and love!

Mathilde

Mood like the Weather

/in

I was recently trying to decide what to write about for this blog while on a plane, and so many things went through my mind that I fell asleep. (That could’ve been due to the fact that I got only three hours of sleep the night before, but who really knows…) I could write about anything and everything. My travels, my flatmates, the food, you name it. I think that focusing on those things, however, would give an incomplete view of my semester. This semester has been a whirlwind of emotions. Really, really high highs and really, really low lows. Considering the fact that I will assuredly be giving a highlight reel of my adventures many times over in the future, I figured that for this blog, I’d put the negative of that film on display. A behind-the-scenes look at my life over the past few months, you might say. Not that I won’t talk about my travels or new experiences; those are things that have shaped my moods and this period of personal growth. However, I want to paint a realistic picture of my time abroad. As much as this blog is for the readers, the process of dissecting my thoughts enough to put them into cohesive words has already helped me to truly appreciate how much I’ve grown as a person. (Pictured above: An enjoyable time of solitude featuring a warm minced pie and an espresso.)

I chose this title because I have found that throughout my life, my mood has mirrored the weather, which I think is true for many people. Seasonal depression doesn’t leave a stone unturned. That being said, just as the weather here fluctuates consistently, so has my mood changed drastically at times this semester. The excitement of traveling caught off guard by the ho-hum of the school week. A flip-flop between craving the comfort of familiarity and loving the freedom of unfamiliarity. I’ve found that a semester abroad isn’t for the faint of heart; it’s for those who believe that they can handle it. It will simultaneously be one of the most difficult times in your life and also one of the most fulfilling.
I’ve found that what I do and how I live out my days truly affects my moods. If you’ve been keeping up with my blogs, you already know that I don’t have much homework and I have a lot of free time, especially during the week. Considering the go, go, go attitude of American culture, having this much uninterrupted solitude is something that I haven’t ever really experienced. It’s like a choose-your-own-adventure novel. I have nothing going on. Do I: a) doom scroll online, b) read a book, c) go outside for some exercise, d) explore a new hobby, e) call someone, or f) see if any of my friends are free? I know that each one of them will affect my mood later, but it’s easy to forget the final outcome when clicking on an app is so much easier than leaving my room to go for a run. Self-motivation is difficult. One of the biggest things that I’ve learned about myself this semester is that I need time constraints and people in my life. I’m not talking rigorous scheduling, but at least some outward motivation to keep myself on task. Solitude also doesn’t help with motivation. Of course, most people need some solitude to thrive in other aspects of their life, some more than others. I think that human connection is so important. If a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, does it actually make a sound? If I experience something amazing, but I have no one to share it with, is it really amazing? I know that’s not a perfect comparison, but one can only talk to themselves for so long before one of them gets bored : )

On that note, let’s talk about boredom. What happened to entertaining oneself? Anyone else remember playing games with their siblings in the car? Making forts out of anything you could put your hands on? Listening to the random talk radio that your mom put on in the car. Just talking without having to check your phone? I used to be chastised for trying to read at the dinner table. I miss that. I want to appreciate life as I did back then. I’ve been making an effort to be bored again. Not always have something to listen to while I’m doing things. Let my thoughts wander instead of trying to immediately occupy my mind with something. Traveling helps with that. Talking to people while I’m on the bus rather than just sitting in the uniform Gen Z position, next to each other but silent, slumped over a screen. WALL-E is coming to fruition. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, rewatch the movie. It’s honestly scary.) Last weekend, rather than putting in my earbuds and escaping on the plane ride from Dublin to London and vice versa, I actually read my book and stared into space.

Ok, that turned into a lecture, but it’s something that I feel very strongly about and even more so after my time in Ireland. I struggle with the same things, and I find that my mood goes up significantly when I do things that allow my brain to breathe, such as physical exercise and art. The hardest part is the first step. Once I make the first step to go on a walk, I go for miles. Once I put my phone down and start painting, I can’t stop. Yes, I take pictures while I’m traveling, but I don’t just want to experience the view through a lens. The views at the Cliffs of Moher and the surrounding areas were really amazing, and a photo doesn’t even do them justice, although I will sneak one into this post because it’s still incredible. Times like that, where I’m exploring and interacting with new places, make the air feel fresher. (The cliffs are huge! The little dots in the on the left side are people!)

Last weekend, I went to London with seven other girls, which was both super fun and reminded me how much I miss home. As much as I’m used to not being at home due to boarding school and out-of-state college, I really miss the comfort of the relationships with my family and friends. We all stayed in a one-room Airbnb with a shared bathroom featuring all of the luxuries: a bottle of half-used body wash functioning as hand soap, a questionably bubbling toilet, and a suspiciously crusty shower. Needless to say, I spent as little time as possible in there and never took off my shoes. Other than that, the weekend was wonderful. A lighting tour, you might say. Somehow, we managed to cram sightseeing, two West End shows, the British Museum, dinner, and a night out into one day. I also ended up learning a lot about myself and my sanity. Learning that I need some solitude to reset, learning how easily people get overwhelmed after a long day, how important food and water are to mental stability, and how interesting people are. They offer unique perspectives on life, and definitely each made the trip memorable in their own unique ways. Please enjoy my peak photography and modeling skills displayed below : )

Honestly, if you’re still reading this right now, I applaud you for your determination. I guess to finish up this entry, I want to talk a little bit about some of the things that I’ve picked up in Ireland that I plan to continue when I return home. First off, reusable bags. While working my summer job at a grocery store, some days I would use five packs of plastic grocery bags. It was fairly common for someone to ask for a bag for a one-item purchase. I genuinely can’t remember the last time that I saw one since I’ve been in Europe. I’ll just store them in my car and make it a habit to bring them into the grocery store with me. Save the planet from some plastic and my sanity from carrying 50 bags into the house. Another thing that I will try to emulate is the culture’s relaxed demeanor and overall charismatic approach to people. Americans are often described as peaches when it comes to their interactions with new people- Warm and open with small talk, but it is difficult to get beyond surface-level topics, such as when you get to the pit of the peach. In comparison, I find that Irish people are like blueberries, open and easy to talk to, not really demanding much of a prior relationship in order to have a good chat. I really admire that about the culture. They want to share their culture and country with you and are not uncomfortable talking about topics that may be considered taboo or rude in the US. Not that I am going to lose my filter when talking to people, but I think that there is so much value in honesty when it comes to building friendships with people. Although I do miss my car desperately, I’ve gone to school in New Ulm for the past two years, and I really don’t know the geography that well. I’ve only lived in Maynooth for a couple of months, and, because of my frequent leisurely walks, I can practically make it anywhere without directions. I also find that walks bring me joy while circulating my thoughts and enjoying nature, and help me to sleep better at night in general. Side tangent, I actually have to tire myself out like a toddler in order to be able to sleep at night, which I find hilarious while also being extremely inconvenient. My sleep schedule is the one thing that I will be changing upon my return, which will directly relate to my return to the comforts of my own pillow, but I digress. On a lighter note, I will add cups of tea with milk to my daily routine along with nightly stretches.

I’m really not trying to write a self-help novel here, I swear, just getting some of my thoughts down in writing. I’m hoping that was fairly comprehensive, but I’m sure I lost a couple of people along the way. This journey hasn’t necessarily been what I expected, but I’ve grown in ways that I didn’t even know I needed. One expects being abroad to feel exciting and different from normal life, yet here I am, still worrying about money and whether I will get a passing mark on my next assignment. The same Mathilde, just with a few more experiences under her belt and the newly acquired desire to paint and listen to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack on repeat. That all being said, I hope that I didn’t bore y’all too much! Hopefully you even had a chuckle or two : ) The mental health benefits of laughter are very underappreciated in my humble opinion.

Peace and love!

Mathilde

 

Grand VS Great; Ireland VS USA

/in

The prompt for this blog, have a conversation with someone from another culture and blog about what you learned, has got me thinking. Yeah, ok, Mathilde, that’s the point of a prompt… Obviously, I mean specifically about all the conversations that I’ve had, the scenes that I’ve observed, and all of the things that I’ve learned about different cultures during my time abroad so far. I’ve been mulling over this prompt for about a week, although some could call it procrastinating, and having it in the back of my mind has made me appreciate experiences that I have begun to take for granted. Two months ago, these differences were blinding, pushing me out of my comfort zone academically and socially. Needless to say, I did actually have a conversation with my Irish friend, geesh, I think we’ll just call her Mary, so I don’t out her, so the rest of this blog will include info from both overall observations about Irish culture and that conversation with my friend.

If you’ve been following along with my journey so far, you’re already familiar with some of these cultural differences, as they’ve been an overarching theme this semester. For that reason, I will try to not rehash things. Y’all already know that the Irish have an indirect communication style- classes start later than the appointed time, assignments are relaxed even though they are worth a large percentage of your grade, emails often get left for weeks before you receive a response-that has been a struggle for me to get used to. On top of that, it is often difficult for me to read situations. Most lecturers interact with their students during the class, yet they fail to really explain what is expected for their assignments. Classrooms are very relaxed, even to the point that often students just talk when their lecturers are teaching until the lecturer has to stop the lecture to ask them to stop. Another thing that I’ve noticed about Irish culture in general is how often and casually they swear. This week, during two different situations, class and student life run bingo, those leading the room casually threw out swear words. I honestly find it very entertaining and almost a relief. Although I find it unprofessional based on my previous life experiences and culture, I think their casual speech reflects their lighthearted culture, an aspect of Ireland that I didn’t necessarily expect but that I really enjoy.

Don’t mind me as I not-so-smoothly switch topics… just like I not-so-smoothly inserted a picture of me and my roommates back in September… One thing that has interested me a lot this semester is the Irish culture and its connection to the Catholic church. In my research before arriving in Ireland, I learned about their history, especially the age-long dispute between Catholics and Protestants. The Republic of Ireland is considered a Catholic nation, but when I asked Mary if she was Catholic, she said yes, but said that she only attends mass twice a year- Easter and Christmas- and doesn’t really believe what they teach. I’ve found that this is true for a majority of the Irish people I’ve met. Catholicism is a part of their heritage and culture more than it is something to which they actually subscribe. Mary said that the only member of her family who actually goes regularly is her gran. Because the religion is seen as a part of their history, many of my education lecturers talk about how the education system is too influenced by religion, seeing as the majority of primary schools are run by the church, and that we need to update the curriculum to escape the past. I am honestly not too shocked by this realization, as I feel that America is fairly similar. Many are not at all religious, and many who report as being part of a certain group also don’t attend church often, except on the “important days”.

I’m not sure if I’ve already talked about this or if it is just fairly obvious, but I am continually surprised by the emphasis that Irish culture puts on enjoying life. In the States, people may feel like they’re working so that they can enjoy life, but people here enjoy life and also work. During orientation, the person speaking to us told us that studying is important, but don’t forget to take advantage of our time to make friends and have fun. Because we have so few assignments, we actually do have time to socialize and enjoy life, while I feel like back home, we are told to prioritize academics, and people’s schedules are so full that they don’t really have a choice. Here, it is perfectly acceptable to go out on a weeknight and not just on the weekends. There’s even a bar on campus where they hold events, you can get cheap food and drinks, and there’s plenty of space to hang out inside and outside the building. All around the country, there are student discounts or student nights, even though going to college here is very inexpensive, especially as compared to the US. Many students don’t work, and, if they do, they work on weekends when they go home, which would unfortunately not cut it for me financially at home. Without your parents’ help or other grants, it is very difficult to get through college without loans in the United States, a fact that shocks all the Irish students that I’ve talked to. Please enjoy the beautiful flowers, one of the things that I enjoy during my free time walks : )

Geesh, this blog is kinda feeling like a school report right now. All observations, nothing too exciting, so I figured I would dedicate the rest of the blog to life updates from yours truly. Per usual, self-motivation is difficult, and I fear that I am a raging procrastinator, as I stated earlier. Healthy habits are like an old car. Some old cars may take a little bit of effort to start, but will continue to run after the initial push, while others are hard to start and are difficult to keep running. I’ve been doing better about my subconscious praying because it is genuinely the only thing that will calm my body down so that I can sleep at night. After this semester of sleep troubles, my pillow at home goes into the same boat as my car- something that I will never underappreciate again. Anywho, I’ve started to focus more on physical activity as the days start to get dark by 5:30. I find that, like most people, my mood goes down with the sun, and my body calls it quits as soon as the sun does. As an attempt to combat this and also take advantage of some of my ample free time, I purchased a cheap yet effective watercolor set from the seasonal aisle at Aldi, and I have started a new hobby. I find painting very relaxing, even during the brief period of time when I was finger painting due to my lack of brushes, and I’m even finding myself admiring some of my own work. While I’ve always had difficulties acknowledging my talents and being proud of myself, I think that this newfound hobby is good for my brain and is helping me to value myself and my abilities. Any other news…? Huh, well, can we just talk about how easy it is to put cleaning on the back burner when you are the only one using a space? As much as I really appreciate clean floors, I have vacuumed my room once this semester, and that’s only because my flatmate had one that she had borrowed from the office and offered to me. I have also mopped my bathroom once this semester… are you sensing a theme? Doing the bare minimum to get by and not be disgusting. Yeah, it may sound gross, but believe me, it’s really just fine… I think. Ok, stop judging me.

Now that I’ve gotten all of that off my chest, I think that it’s time to pull a Houdini while I contemplate whether or not it was a good idea to air my own dirty laundry like that…

Peace and love!
Mathilde

Cheers to Part Two!

/in

I decided that as an opening to my midterm blog, I would share an ode to the thing that I have found myself longing for the most- my car. (Also, please note how I said ‘thing’ and not ‘person’. I feel the judgment already.) Anywho, here goes nothing…

Dearest auto
On these days of anxiety
I miss you so

Oh, how I long for your convenience
When my knees ache
After a long day

Even through your minor flaws
You always start
And you have a great stereo

Fear not, I will return home
Five quarts of oil in tow
Never to put off routine maintenance again

Ok, I admit, not my finest work, but it came from the heart. I have been pining for dear old Lafawnduh* since practically day one abroad. I miss the ease of access that her four tires and engine provide me. I was especially feeling it at 3:37 AM this fine day whilst awaiting my second bus of the morning on my way to the airport. What could have been a 40-minute drive from my apartment to the airport turned into a 2-plus-hour commute by public transport. A cheap commute, but yet another reminder of what I left behind.
On that note, I do feel very accomplished having finally gotten a handle on public transport, specifically buses. I actively avoided them for a while, preferring to utilize the train and walk anywhere after that, but I quickly realized that not everything is conveniently close to said station, most importantly, the airport. I am proud to report, however, that after a couple of missed buses and a few anxiety-filled rides, I finally feel fairly confident about using Dublin buses. I have found that my confidence in general has risen since this triumph, especially after my most recent solo trek from my apartment to Frankfurt. Yes, ma’am, I made it all in one piece, and I only forgot an adapter. Oops! But luckily the Germans are very efficient and the local technology store outfitted me with another charging cable for only £4. I can now use my laptop in both the UK and Germany, but not in the US – peak comedy for this American writer. The picture on the left is what I would consider a peaceful moment in Germany- coffee and writing my blog while looking out the window to the village below.

Ok, now that I’ve had a good laugh, I will move on. Along with gaining confidence through independence, I have also had some super fun experiences by going out of my comfort zone in order to interact with people on campus. Knowing that relationships are built on mutual respect and vulnerability, I have focused on breaking the ice with people by being semi-vulnerable from the start. The temptation to not reach out until another person reaches out first is very great, but I find that you have to ignore the feelings of pride in order to build relationships. By stepping outside of my comfort zone and approaching people, I have gained new friendships. Meeting for coffee often turns into multiple-hour conversations that span across at least two locations. My ideal friends? Chatty and ready for a laugh.

When it comes to my personal faith goals, I think that I could be doing better. I will not express all the details in length, but overall, I could always spend more time with God. I have found myself getting back into the habit of praying as I fall asleep and whilst walking from place to place. A silent stream of conscious prayer. This may not seem like a habit that is difficult to maintain, but to do so, one must think about it initially before it becomes a subconscious habit. When it comes to goals, however, I feel that the minute I put a numerical value or limit on the goal, I am less likely to have motivation to achieve that goal, so I will continue to take initiative to keep up with my faith by reaching for my Bible immediately after the thought pops into my head.

In regards to other goals, I am finding that the same is true. If I do not immediately seize the opportunity to do things, such as go for a run or go do homework in the library, I will not do them. I find some comfort in the fact that I am persistent, and I gain a lot of joy from completing tasks and looking back on a productive day. Along with that, my flatmates and I are reaching the point of real comfort; the point where being around them does not drain my social battery as much. Hanging out with them or just occupying the same areas while doing different activities does not leave me feeling tired like interacting with strangers does. We are not at the point of close friends, but I feel that their presence is more of a comfort rather than something that I have to escape from in order to decompress and go to bed. As a new goal for the second half of the semester, I will make an attempt to find a reliable place to study outside of my apartment. I will try to do all of my homework and studying, creating a separation between work and fun, and allowing my apartment to be a place of only relaxation. This plan will also force me to make it a habit to leave the house and interact with others outside of just classes. While I don’t find it difficult to approach people that I don’t know, I think that it will be good for me to have other people around to keep myself conscious on task.

I’m hoping that any of that made sense to someone. Words are very difficult sometimes, no? Side tangent, really quick (feel free to skip to the next paragraph if you’re not interested, I’m not offended…) I am currently staying with relatives in Germany who learned to speak English many years ago, but, since then, have not used it very much. I have the same problem with my German. I can understand a great portion of what they say in German, but I am not confident in my speaking ability. As a result, I tend to respond to their German in English, but I try to put my English into German word order or use words that I know are similar to German words. In spite of the broken languages or language turnstile, if you will, we have had many lengthy and lively conversations. Ok, where did that come from? I suppose the point of the story is that, regardless of whether my way of communicating is exactly the same as someone else’s, we can both be flexible in order to be understood. Ah, also, if some of this is written in a strange syntax, kindly ignore my errors and continue reading. Or you don’t have to, I’m not going to stop you. I hope you enjoy a picture that needs no language to understand- a happy cat in a window : )

Okay, Mathilde, let us get past all these side tangents. I fear I have too much creative freedom with these blogs… that being said, I also feel that I have too much creative freedom over my schooling in Ireland. While I am only taking a few classes, I find it very strange that I have only had one assignment since starting school, and it is already midterm. As I said in my last blog, it is nice to not have homework, but I have learned its value over this past semester. I need some homework, although perhaps not as much as back in the US, in order to gauge my understanding of the material. On that same note, I am also surprised at the lack of noise in Ireland. While the people speak fairly loudly, in comparison to the US, they are much quieter. My flatmates and I were in a McDonald’s a couple of weeks ago, and we found that in a full restaurant, you can barely hear the people’s conversations next to you. It honestly makes me cringe to hear other Americans because they now seem so loud to me.
Another thing that I have been happily surprised with is the lack of high fructose corn syrup in products in Ireland. While it is not illegal to use as a sweetener, it is strictly regulated. Considering the fact that corn is not as readily available in Europe as it is in the USA and the fact that people in Europe are used to eating products that are sweetened with regular sugar, HFCS is not popular**. Considering the health concerns surrounding the product, I am very happy to avoid it, and I much prefer the less sweet products, including chocolate and even soda. Although too much sugar can still cause health problems, I believe that everything should be enjoyed in moderation, so I will continue to indulge in my £.95 dark chocolate Digestives from Aldi, along with my tuna salad. Please keep your opinions to yourself unless you’d like to join me; then, take a seat, and I’ll get you a plate.

Since I started this blog longing after something I miss, I figured I would end with something that I am grateful for in Ireland and that I will miss upon my arrival home in December- cheaper groceries and ease of access to stores. Since Ireland is much smaller than the US, things are closer together and are built for a culture of short-distance travel, often on a bus, bike, or even on foot. I went from walking only from my car to wherever on campus, then to my dorm room, to walking everywhere I go from my apartment, a train, or a bus stop. I also appreciate their constant use of reusable bags at the stores. While I have to remember to bring my bags, a task unfamiliar to me, I end up having fewer bags to carry, and I don’t have a million tiny plastic bags to deal with after putting my groceries away. Along with that, haven’t seen a single plastic grocery sack hanging a tree, a somewhat regular sight in the US. They seem to consider littering almost a crime; there are even posters and ads that shame people for not putting their trash in the bins. While litter on the streets still happens, it does seem like society puts more emphasis on keeping the country clean through its actions.

During every minute of downtime this week, I have considered what to write about for this blog. As it is the midterm one, I felt that it should be a thorough overview of my feelings about the semester and details about things that I’ve learned and or noticed about myself and my surroundings. While I tried my best to put all of my thoughts together and into words, I’m sure that there are many other things that I have forgotten to write about, as I am the only one prompting myself, and I fear that I have forgotten some of the things that I told myself to write about. For example, I used to think that it was strange to drink tea with milk, but now I prefer it, and always with a biscuit on the side if possible. I cannot claim to be Irish or European, but I truly appreciate many of the aspects of their culture, and I plan to implement some of the things that I have learned into my life back in the US. I have already begun my reusable bag collection, so look out for this fashion icon ; )

Welp, I apologize for my long-winded self, but I do hope that you found this to be at the very least entertaining if not interesting. I cannot wait to see what part two of this semester has in store for me, and I should also start buying souvenirs for people back home… I’m not very good at that, but maybe if I plan ahead, I can find things that are actually useful for them. There’s nothing worse than getting a souvenir from someone else’s travels that will just sit around your house. They are what I would consider the opposite of a great conversation starter. A conversation ender.

“Oh, a (insert random knick-knack here) from (insert foreign place here)! Have you been?”

“No.”

End of conversation. Wow, there’s yet another tangent. I really should let you go before I start writing my grocery list for the week…

Peace and love!
Mathilde

 

*Yes, like from Napoleon Dynamite and duh, of course she’s a Honda 🙂
**While I have noticed the difference in taste, I did have to do some more research about the regulations around HFCS, so here is the website that I used: HFCS

I Knew There Was a Catch

/in

So, apparently, studying abroad means that you are actually supposed to go to classes and participate in other academic endeavors. I know, I’m as shocked as you are… Yes, yes, yes, obviously I’m joking, but, based on the fact that I’ve had zero homework as of week three, I sometimes wonder. Unlike in the US, where students are constantly bombarded with daily assignments on top of bigger projects that loom in their future, students here have only a few bigger assignments to worry about throughout the semester. This, however, poses a few problems for yours truly.

Firstly, without frequent homework to keep me on task with my learning, I fear that this academic weapon is apt to rust. Don’t get me wrong, I dislike homework just as much as the next guy, but I am really beginning to understand the worth of having some. Not having homework as a reference for how well I’m understanding the material and what I need to study for future assessments makes it difficult to keep on task. People preach the importance of self-regulation and motivation, myself included, but putting those into practice is a whole lot harder than one might think. It’s a lesson in which I am desperately trying to get a passing grade. Yes, I’ve been known to knock back a whole novel in a day, but it takes a special person to truly comprehend, let alone enjoy, reading multiple lengthy excerpts about medieval Irish documents without having an assignment to complete as a reference while reading. (Insert picture of South Campus just because I could definitely read a few novels there.)

Luckily for me and my procrastination tendencies, I only have each class once a week, which leaves me a good five days to think about doing the readings before doing them the night before the class. I’m only joking…mostly. Another saving grace is that I really enjoy my classes, as I’m able to take electives that genuinely interest me. I’m taking classes such as ‘Emigration in Nineteenth and Twentieth Century Irish Society’ and ‘Cultural Heritage and the Irish Literary Tradition’, along with a few other ones that I actually need to take for credit. It’s been interesting to take classes such as ‘American History’ or other methodology classes, such as ‘Teaching PE’, from the Irish perspective. 

Another thing that has proved to be a challenge for me is the Irish communication style and how it conflicts with what I know. Yes, I will explain that thought. What I mean is, unlike in the US, where the professors are fairly clear about what they expect for assignments and where and when things are, the professors here often briefly mention assignments that may be worth 50% of your grade. Almost like a passing thought. “Oh yeah, the paper that will decide how well you will do in this class is due November 7th. Look for details online, bye.” VERY helpful. I’m really not complaining. Not having the constant assignments gives me the opportunity to feel a little more independent and like a “real adult”. Unfortunately, it is difficult going from merely having a taste of freedom, living the college life back at MLC, to having an entire four-course meal of freedom this semester. It can be overwhelming at times. (Insert picture of one of the perks of freedom: homemade breakfast).

Speaking of overwhelming, the class sizes for some of my classes are just that. Walking into class to find that you have to ask a whole row of people to stand up so you can awkwardly squeeze past them to the one empty seat in the lecture theatre is definitely a moment that would not make my top ten. I know that MLC has much smaller class sizes than most other colleges, but I just find big lectures to be too much for me. It’s like we’re sardines in a can – both in terms of proximity to people and the smell. Rumor has it that the personal hygiene of our peers improves as we get older, but I can confirm that is not the case. That being said, it is very difficult to focus on a screen that is at least 50 feet away while you’re simultaneously sitting in an armpit. Yes, I’m quite possibly being overdramatic, but I’m just trying to be a competent reporter. 

Okay, okay, okay, I can practically hear my mom telling me to move on, so I shall. While the classes and assessments differ from those in the US in ways that are challenging for me, I also find that most of the lecturers are much more compelling as presenters. They believe that learning takes place during class and most of the responsibility for how well a student comprehends the material falls on the lecturer. In my ‘Assessment, Methodologies, and Curriculum’ course, a guy fell asleep, and the lecturer basically said that she bored him so much that he fell asleep and that she didn’t blame him for doing so. Since they put such an emphasis on learning while in the lecture, I have found myself focusing more on taking organized and in-depth notes during class in order to put as much information presented in class into memory as possible. I find that using the slides presented as an outline and taking notes on what the lecturer is saying has helped me to really absorb the information. I’m able to use multiple senses in order to keep my brain on track. Not a foolproof system by any means, but I find myself walking away from classes having digested information rather than merely having a Google doc full of words that didn’t make it into my brain. 

I think that the Irish college system definitely has its pros and cons, and it works better for people in different ways. As my Irish friend says about their homework load, “we wouldn’t know hard work if it hit us in the face,” which may or may not be true, but there’s also more pressure for the few assignments that we do have. I will just have to be more diligent and focus on academics, even if it sometimes feels like I’m just on vacation. And on that note, I think I’m gonna go to Dublin… ; )

Don’t fret, y’all, I do go to class and I am learning things, I just think that I might learn more social-emotional skills this semester than anything else. That being said, I must run, my flatmates are eager to play some cards.

Peace and Love!

Mathilde

It Is Indeed Green Here

/in

When it comes to living arrangements, I will begin by talking about the thing that first jumped out at me when I entered my current abode. The flooring. Now, when I imagined where I would stay while studying on a campus that is mere feet away from a legit castle, I pictured something quaint, even cozy. Stone covered in ivy, beautiful views, wooden features. An overall medieval feel. Instead, after having to use my cell phone to unlock three different doors, I was hit with what I can only describe as a grubby lime living its second life as a floor. Carpet and linoleum. I know this might sound like a wild description, but I will include photo evidence so you can see what I mean. Not only is it lime green, but it is also littered with mystery stains, which I can only speculate point to the original use for this building —a putt-putt course. Alas, the world may never know. 

The craziest thing is, there is quaint accommodation on campus, it’s just on the opposite side of campus, the pretty side. The side we live on is modern. Iron and glass everywhere. Abstract sculptures, geometric shapes, the whole bag. Then all you have to do is cross the road that splits the campus in half, and suddenly you are in picturesque Ireland – large, moss-covered stone buildings, a massive Gothic church, and a beautiful, green courtyard. Below is a picture of the casual beauty that I encounter when I cross the road on my afternoon runs. (Psst, there’s a picture of the church if you scroll down). A perfect example of a juxtaposition. Wow, 11th-grade honors English class is coming in clutch for the big words today.

ANYWHO, I’m getting carried away, per usual. I truly can’t complain about my apartment. It’s located on campus and only around a five-minute walk to any of my classes, a 10-minute walk to the shopping center, and 20-minute walk to the train station. It’s what real estate agents would call “prime property”. I like to think that its lack of character makes the bare minimum effort that my flatmates and I put into decorating it look amazing. We have already arrayed one wall with some beautiful self-portraits, and week-old flowers are currently living in an old pasta sauce jar on our kitchen table. Yeah, we’re classy around here. 

As for my own room, I will stick to minimal decoration as I do not want to have a lot of things to deal with at the end of the semester, as I’m trying to pack for my flight back. As compared to MLC, it is grand. I have my own FULL bathroom connected to my room. Gone are the days of scampering down the hallway in a towel on the way to the shower. Along with that, there is plenty of storage space, which is completely wasted on me currently, as I am living as a vagrant. Not sharing a room and sleeping under someone else has also been an amazing luxury. Not that I don’t enjoy having a roommate to keep me sane, shout out to Heather, but it is a breath of fresh air to feel a sense of independence after living in a dorm for so many years.

Unfortunately, with independence comes maintenance, namely cleaning, which my flatmates and I have found to be frustrating as hair seems to collect so quickly and the bread here seems to be so crumbly. Maybe the lime green just makes it more obvious, who knows? While we’re on the topic of first-world problems, making my own food sounds all fine and dandy until I actually have to go and buy groceries and walk them back home. For those wondering, a backpack is always the way to go. Independence also requires self-regulation and motivation, which is easy to slack on when you have the option of rotting in your room without anyone knowing or saying a word. Those are the times that I have to remind myself that I am in IRELAND and that I should make the most of the time that I’m here. Luckily for me, my flatmates think the same way. 

Ah! What a natural segue into talking about said flatmates. All four of them are from the US, but from different parts of the country. Michigan, New Jersey, California, and Kentucky. We are all very different, yet we somehow manage to get along very well. As I mentioned in my last blog, we have had to find familiarity with each other fairly quickly. We’ve all made the unspoken choice to stick together and are even getting to a point where we can actually be vulnerable with each other. I’ve had interesting conversations with each of them already, and I look forward to the adventures that we will go on together. A trip to London is currently in the works, which will definitely shake out to be the weekend of a lifetime. 

Well, now is the time in the show that I must bid adieu as I must run to class, but just know that I am very much enjoying my time abroad. I really don’t mind the crumbly bread. It’s actually much better than any bread that I’ve ever eaten in the caf. Yes, that was subtle shade. Oh, also, my apologies for all of the dramatics throughout this entry; it’s been a week. Ok, I actually have to go now. Classes here may start five minutes later than the appointed time, but I don’t want to be the person who makes people have to stand up, so I can get a middle seat in the lecture hall. Until next time!

Peace and Love,

Mathilde

First Impressions of the Land of 10,000 Sheep

/in

This week has put me through a whirlwind of emotions. If you are reading this blog for all sunshine and rainbows, I’m afraid you’re in the wrong place. Life is certainly not wonderful all the time, even when you’re jumping into a semester of your dreams. I’ll be completely honest. I’ve felt more uncomfortable this week than I can remember feeling in years. I know that I am doing this in order to push myself beyond my limits, but I would be lying if I told you that this week has not made me question how much I can take. Of course, I am getting ahead of myself. Let’s have a quick recap.

Firstly, the airport in general. I can be quoted as saying that I enjoy flying and airports are entertaining, but I fear I may go back on my word after my most recent adventures. From flying into one airport in New York City and having to find a way to get to the other and board my plane to getting the middle seat of the middle row on the sleepless flight to Dublin, I can confidently say that I no longer look forward to flights. Alas, I survived and even made it through the 30-plus-hour day that resulted. 

I think the hardest thing this week has been having nothing familiar to rely on for comfort. I’m forced to find familiarity with my flatmates and the places on campus that I’ve visited a handful of times. Besides that, everything that happens seems to add to my stress. Class schedule not working out, jumping through multiple hoops just for my emails to be left unanswered, my computer deciding to break the day before classes start, traveling to Dublin alone to buy a new computer, and feeling that I’m in the wrong place or that I should be participating in some activity. It’s been a struggle to find the joy in the stressful situations, but I’ve been pushing myself to focus on the future and keep my chin up through it all. I cannot truly control anything, so I have to remember that even in the loneliness and feelings of helplessness, I can always look to Jesus, the one who is always there for me and truly understands everything that I’m dealing with this week.

Anywho, on that note, I went to Catholic mass this week, which was very interesting. I went out of curiosity, hoping to find comfort from the word of God, but instead I found myself even more uncomfortable. The service was riddled with traditions and things that people do, but there aren’t explicit instructions on what to do. I struggled to find God’s love in the rigid structure and confusing liturgy. It felt like a scavenger hunt, but the instructions are in a whole different, unfamiliar language, and there is no one else there to show you where to start. As much as I find peace in the regularity and consistency of some traditions in church services, by attending this service, I gained the perspective of an outsider, and I can see how our services may seem daunting to those attending for the first time. I also realized how alone I am in my faith here. It will be difficult to keep myself accountable for staying in the word, but I find that it is the only thing that I can cling to for comfort.

I’m fully aware that this blog has been very negative so far, but I just needed to get those feelings on the table right away. Now that we’ve been through that turmoil, we can talk about the wonderful world of Ireland. Firstly, the people are so nice and willing to help with whatever you need. They are interested in getting to know you and are particularly interested in comparing the US with Ireland. I recently went on a walking tour of Dublin, and the guide was a perfect example of all of the people that I’ve met so far. The best way to describe her was cheery- full of laughs and a desire to show us her city. She put an emphasis on having human connections and going out of one’s way to talk to people in order to break away from a technologically advanced yet socially inept society. This week, I’ve been working on taking her advice by going out of my comfort zone and chatting with people that I run into, rather than just allowing silence to fill the air. My goal is to leave the interaction with a new friend rather than just a familiar face.

Along with the people, the weather is so beautiful- a mild range of 50-65 degrees with occasional sunshine, with scattered showers almost guaranteed every day. It’s in between the weather that you can never fully prepare yourself for, and I love it. It’s normal to carry around a tote bag here, so if I get uncomfortable with a jacket on, I can just take it off and put it in my bag. It’s truly a perfect system. It’s perfect fall weather minus the fact that the leaves are not crunchy due to the damp climate, a fact that I sadly found out after attempting a leaf stomp the other day. It was a heartbreaking realization made worse by the number of people who watched my failure… Oh well, we live and we learn. 

While I have felt fairly uncomfortable for the majority of this past week, my flatmates have been a light in the loneliness. Since we are all in the same boat of not knowing anyone and having to figure out living in Ireland on our own, we have quickly teamed up, and I can already feel our connection growing. While we are all very different and are from all across the US, they are becoming the people that I rely on for comfort and familiarity. I find myself spending more and more time in the common spaces where the number of awkward silences is swiftly being overtaken by the number of laughs. I have people to explore Maynooth with and even Dublin if we are feeling up for an adventure. 

Phew, I think that’s all I’ve got so far. For those of you who made it through the whole thing, I really appreciate you. It has already been a journey, and I’ve only been in Ireland for a week. As the whirlwind inevitably continues this semester, I look forward to getting more and more comfortable with my new environment and growing in my independence. Oh, I almost forgot, the picture for this month is of me next to the castle that is literally on my campus…?!?! Also, notice how green it is??? Europe is so cool. Ok, I promise, I’m actually done now. 

All the love!

Mathilde

Wait… This is Actually Happening?!?!

/in

These past few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about my study abroad journey up to this point. From seeing presentations about studying abroad, to deciding to work towards doing it, to planning the last-minute details. I know that it may sound corny, but I genuinely cannot believe that I will be flying out of the US in two days. On the one hand, I’m super excited. This is something that I’ve been dreaming of for years now. A solo adventure to a country I’ve never been to in order to push myself out of my comfort zone. On the other hand, I’m going on a SOLO adventure which is completely out of my comfort zone… More on that later.

Anywho, in preparation for this new adventure, I’ve been getting to know myself. Asking myself hard questions that challenge my preexisting beliefs and subconscious reactions to others. At first, the idea of getting to know myself better seemed strange, but it has made me more self-aware and has taught me empathy by allowing me to see the world through other people’s perspectives. I expect the program to help me become more open to interacting with people whom I don’t necessarily know or with whom I don’t have any obvious commonalities. It may be tough to conceptualize as I am writing this from the comfort of my bed in Iowa, but I am intrigued to discover what the next few months have in store for me.

Through this process, I’ve been able to narrow down some of the strengths and weaknesses in order to make some personal goals for this adventure. I expect to increase my personal discipline by relaxing and allowing myself to prioritize things that help my emotional and physical health, rather than always focusing on deadlines and things that cause me stress. While the beginning of this adventure may be causing me a lot of stress right now as I fret about how many pairs of socks to pack or whether or not to bring my pillow, I know that, overall, this experience will force me to become comfortable with unfamiliarity. I will have to learn to prioritize things that matter and spend less time on the things that are ultimately unimportant.

Along with developing proper priorities, I also hope to work on discipline and self-regulation. Over the years, I’ve been surrounded by a Christian community that cares about my faith life and has lived on a schedule that regularly includes time to be in the Word. Now that I will be around people whom I don’t know and in a new place, I will have to keep myself accountable in my personal devotional life and scheduling and prioritizing my connections with fellow believers. I will have to make a point of setting aside time to spend in the Bible and reaching out to others to find people who share the faith. This experience will test my faith and force me to put genuine effort into my personal faith. I hope to achieve a stronger faith in God through my intentional time spent in the Word and reliance on God to get me through new and often stressful situations abroad.

OK, finally coming back to the fact that I’m going on my first solo trip EVER to a whole new country. Of course, when I started planning this experience, the prospect of going alone sounded great. A complete reset. I love all my friends and family, and the Midwest will always be my home, but I need a little change of pace. I love travelling, and I know that every time I put myself into a situation that I’m new to or not completely comfortable in, I flourish. Not that I disagree with the reasoning of my past self, but now it’s getting to feel real. I know that it will all be ok and everything will work out, even if it doesn’t go just as I planned. I don’t know if the pre-departure nerves will ever lessen, but I am confident that this experience will help me achieve my goal of more self-confidence, especially when it comes to entering new situations and interacting with new people.

For all two of you who are wondering, I chose this picture because I feel like it encapsulates the feeling of excitement I have as I metaphorically run towards the future. Plus, I love my sisters and I will miss them desperately, even if they do frustrate me once in a while… That being said, I will spend the next 48 hours stressing as I finally start finish packing and hoping that I remember all of the important documents that I need. I digress. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you updated every step of the way : )

All the love,
Mathilde